After years of spiritual maturity, I had denied this passion, sought God, and found myself back in Los Angeles for the purposes of acting (not on my own accord, but on the accord of my dad, who is a firm believer in striking hot iron.) So, by February, here I was again, “called by God” to strike the iron of the acting world. And yet I hated the rat race of the industry, I didn’t believe in the false hope of fame, and I couldn’t justify the investment of acting.
But, as I shared this struggle with my fellows here in LA, I was told that acting might not simply be my calling, but my enjoyment, my rest, my worship to God. Who says I’m here to join the rat race? Who says I’m here to be famous? Who says my investment would be a waste? And so, while I wage war against this present darkness, I can rest in the enjoyment I find while holding a script to speak and an audience to entertain. And while everyone else enters an audition hoping to “make it,” I know that I have already made it. It is a security that will no doubt shine in this shady place.
And upon such an epiphany, I suddenly found myself desiring to act more and more with every day. I asked my friends to take headshots, I edited my first acting reel, and I took classes – more and more and more classes!!! … And then I ran out of money…
So here I am, driven with an unstoppable determination – not for money, not for fame, not for respect, but for acting. Having offered this controversial art form to God with opened hands, I trust that this desire is from Him. Many of you may have already believed that of me, but such a process was necessary for me to believe it myself.
-Phillip
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